I wish I could say that my severe, health threatening morning sickness was a thing of the past, but the hard truth was that my first post-reversal pregnancy was my worst yet. By the time I was 11 weeks along, I couldn’t take any food by mouth at all and would blow out an IV line about every three hours. The decision was made to give me a PICC line just to get me through the pregnancy. I kept the PICC line in for an additional 10 weeks. At 21 weeks I was down to just average, bad morning sickness without the need for IV fluids.
We definitely had our moments during that time of wondering what on earth we had done to ourselves. It can get really difficult to keep your eyes on God when you keep tripping over real life.
But we squeaked our way through, leaning heavily on Jesus, on our friends, and our family. And in a quick and healthy birth Therese Marie joined our family in March of 2002.
Since that time we have had four more babies and two miscarriages and life has dealt us many other blessings and some really hard times as well. I can’t say that it never crosses my mind that if we hadn’t had the reversal, my youngest child would be 16 years old right now and my house would be a whole lot cleaner. But when my four year old tells me that she loves me a thousand and twenty-nine, or my two year old kicks me in the head – again – in the middle of the night and then laughs in his sleep, I am reminded that this is a beautiful life. This life has changed me and formed me. It has been hard – very much so. But it has been joyful.
When our older kids come home, or really when anyone comes in the door, there is a stampede to see who it is and to greet the person. Gus, age 2, will often throw his arms wide for a hug and yell, “You’re back!”
Not everyone is called to the family size we have. Our family isn’t better than others or more holy in any way. I’m not trying to sell anyone on the idea of having nine kids (or more). The size of your family, licitly planned, is between you, your spouse, and God.
We still falter and doubt often, we wrestle with the choice to have another child or not. Having a vasectomy reversal didn’t make that any easier. Our lives require constant dying to self, but then every life needs that in its own capacity.
In spite of its difficulties, in spite of its chaos, our family is our ministry and it is filled to the brim with love.
What a beautiful story. More families should bless themselves with the opportunity to give life. Children are a wonderful blessing.