{SQT} 2015, vol 32: Too Many Words and Other Reasons not to Blog

Too Many Words

Hey, it’s been a while! Did you think I had quit? Nope, I’m still here, just on a very unscheduled break. It is time for Momma-Hermit to come out again.

1. I’ve been in hiding  – from blogs (both writing and reading), from the phone, from facebook. I hadn’t realized how profound my silence had been until a friend called me and said, “Hey, you’ve been radio silent for a while, what’s up?” And I had to think for a minute because it hadn’t been fully intentional. I remembered that there was a world outside my own walls (and outside my own brain, for that matter), but I had been procrastinating any connection to it. Such is the downfall of an introvert in processing mode.

2. There has been a lot to process lately, though. The end result of this is that there are too many words needed to communicate. Even sitting down to write feels like an overwhelming task because it seems like it will take hours to vomit out all the words, situations, and feelings surrounding them before I have begun to make a dent. So I spiral inward. My husband and I talk through some things, but mostly just kind of look at each other wide eyed and say, “I know! Right?”

3. I’ve learned to look at it kind of like having the flu. I need a little quarantine for a while, until the toxicity has died down a bit, then I am ready to rejoin the living. Unfortunately, this is an alienating process. I have been hurt by friends who are also emotional cave dwellers. You’d think I would learn my lesson from being on the receiving end. The bridges between people fall so easily into disrepair.

4. It hasn’t really helped that I have been actually sick during a lot of this time. Between pregnancy exhaustion and the chest cold that never ends, it’s easy to put off all this people stuff until “sometime next week.” Hopefully a trip to the doctor today will help with some of that.

5. You’ll notice that I am not actually trying to get out all those “Too Many Words” right now. I’m trying to make this Quick Takes actually quick and just stick my toes back in the water. A lot of the stuff going on right now is intensely personal and doesn’t belong on a public blog, at least not yet. My other point here is to begin the process of reconnecting. It’s time to build the bridges back up. All the words will be said, when and where they need to be, but I miss people, I miss my friends.

6. So don’t be surprised if you hear from me soon. Personally. Facebook and instagram are nice enough for a funny snapshot in words or pictures of the absurdity of life. I like those moments and being able to share them. But let’s be honest and realize that it is more like shouting into a public place than really being part of a personal conversation. I challenge myself – no, I resolve – to call or email someone every day this week. Not to vent or complain, but just to connect, see how they are, and begin to build the bridges again.

7. I challenge you too. Can you do it? (I know my extroverted friends think this is no big deal.) Call or email someone you haven’t talked to in a while. See how they are doing. The dishes and laundry will wait – they always do. There is always a reason not to call. It’s a bad time, it’s a busy week, but those never go away. What do you say, are you in? Check in down in the comments and we can follow up next week.

LIGHT

Go see more Quick Takes at This Ain’t the Lyceum!

Comments

  1. I really enjoy your blog and wonder what is going on in your life. Hope all is well with your amazing, large, faithful family!

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